How to Own Your Voice
5 Strategies to tackle the #1 challenge I see that women wealth-owners face
How can you transform conflict into connection with loved ones? How can you own your unique position for good as a wealth owner?
Those are two main reasons people want to learn the EQ of Wealth — and it all comes down to: How do I own my voice?
The process of vocal empowerment could take months, years, or a lifetime of practice, coaching, and self-development, but I have five suggestions to take the steps towards an eventual breakthrough you can start now.
1) Discover when you stayed silent in the past to change your future
This comes down to partnerships vs. power dynamics in adult relationships.
The dynamics are different in parent-child relationships, especially when the children are young, but in general:
To plant the seeds to grow a more partnership-oriented relationship, know what you care about — and voice it! Voilà! This evens the playing field and helps cut through elements that create unhelpful power dynamics that silence us.
A clear expression of your desires, needs, and concerns has a transformative impact on your relationships. Emotions are constantly changing and, therefore, may not be the best tool to drive your actions.
However, emotions are a great check on your actions.
What does that mean? Let me give you a simple example.
You may not feel like exercising (even though it is great for your health), but if you feel great after you exercise, it’s probably a great decision.
Using our voice can feel scary or overwhelming, so it’s important to get focused on which situations you should prioritize. I created a reflective exercise to discover your key moments of future growth by reflecting on when you stayed silent and regretted it.
2) Tell your Story
When you tell your story and make yourself the hero at the center — with all the trials and challenges you’ve overcome — you’ll discover a kind of connection that’s created through your voice and honesty.
This process of sharing our stories gives us pride in what we’ve been through, who we are, and what we’ve overcome, which makes us want to share more in the future.
I recently reclaimed my narrative here, and there are helpful EQ of Wealth storytelling frameworks to make sharing your story an easy way to build trust and answer “why you?”
Please use your discretion in who gets your story — not everyone has earned the right to know the real and honest you. Also, when it comes to sharing something personally publicly, I follow Glennon Doyle’s advice on storytelling.
“Make sure you’re sharing from your scars, not your open wounds.”
Share the hard things once you have gained wisdom — not when you’re still reeling from the hard lessons.
3) Everyone is terrible at mindreading
I’m the world’s worst mindreader with a 0% success rate, and I’m also fairly certain that everyone else is as well.
If you’re great at mind-reading, please change careers immediately and focus on that — you’re a unicorn.
For the rest of us mere mortals, clarity is the ultimate act of kindness, and so much of owning our voice comes in being proactive in preventing miscommunication. You can use the “Clarity Kick-Off” to start new relationships, new phases of pre-existing relationships, or bring long-term relationships into a new place, with the ease of knowing how to treat each other.
In the same way, it’s far less expensive to invest in preventative care than a hospital bed; the Clarity Kick-Off is your apple-a-day way to prevent relationship frustration, toxicity, or miscommunication.
The more I’m lucky enough to go through life, the more I realize that: time and energy are our most expensive and valuable assets. This concept of “expensive” was made quite famous by the most popular podcast episode of all time.
4) Practice in the smallest of moments
Similar to trust, focus on the small stuff.
Did you order something you didn’t like in a restaurant, but feel bad turning it back? Tell the server in a kind way and send it back. Not only are you voicing your needs, but you are also acting on them, so your needs can actually be met.
Everything compounds in life, and therefore, so can your ownership in using your voice. Start small to do big things.
5) When it matters, prepare
Preparation is key to so much in relationships because when you’re prepared, you’re able to act like an adult instead of react like a child — this, by the way, takes a lot of time and skill to change!
I go through the joys of preparation for high-stakes moments in the conflict starter kit, which you can get in the link below.
Your voice needs to be heard, and with these five techniques, some time, and lots of practice, I know you’ll see a positive transformation in your life.
